I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
So I'm eating my sandwich... and a penny fell out of it.
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
Woke to a half burnt 20 in my pocket, covered in mud, clothes all wet, so im assuming I didn't use that 20 you gave me for a taxi
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
Randomize
