you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
he texted me at 3am asking for "one of my famous blowjobs"
Before you even think your day was worse than mine, I had to disinfect and and stitch another dude's penis after his prince Albert got ripped out by an angry chick.
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
I'm texting you the word "cockring" because I feel it hasn't been said enough throughout our friendship.
how do you ask an olympian for your underwear back?
literally just blacked in. Im watching what to expect when your expecting, eating pretzels and peanut butter, and I have someone's underwear around my neck.
Dad stumbling and puking in the White Castle parking lot = Father's Day success
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
Your ex roommate is making out w the kid who pees on floors and it's kinda funny
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
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