Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
Remember middle school health class where we used to say that when we lost our vcards we would be on the pill, using a condom, and have had our partners tested first? We were so optimistic.
In the middle of having sex, she said "if we continue, we're dating." I then pulled out and sat in the corner, naked. I deserve a Medal of Honor.
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
That moment when you cant decide between eating spaghetti or a Popsicle for breakfast
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
Fuck me this girl I went home with has a cover on her remote control so there is no spills to ruin it. Imagine how many condoms she's going to make me wear
If you bet guys that you can drink them under the table they will pay for your drinks all night until they pass out. I have this down to a science that I think even my dad would appreciate.
Randomize
