you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
Your loyalty to the Redskins reminds me how no matter how much I disappoint you, you will still always be rooting for me.
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
If I had your ass I would rule the world
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
Randomize
