that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
My cab driver just suggested I brush my teeth because he can smell "the party" on me.
I accidentally walked in the wrong house but I somehow left with a chicken leg. Good fucking night.
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
You know you're high when, "Why can't I steal the duck?!" Becomes a serious question.
The convent might be a nice break from real life
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
Randomize
