I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
Those balls look pretty dangerous.
First funeral I've ever been to where the cops had to come.
The whiskey is fighting the tequila on who wants to be the one who end my night first.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently I told the bartender to stop putting ice in my drink because it was taking up too much room
I just realized I turned down a booty call too. To make cheesecake. God help us all
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
Oh, I also stabbed a guy Friday and he still asked me out
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
I'm gunna wear a purple dress, so if you see someone looking confused and lost wearing purple it's probably me
Randomize