...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
I woke up to 76 pages of e's, r's, d's, and f's from when I fell asleep for 3 hours on my laptop keyboard trying to write that paper.
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect.
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
He has an accent, blue cross AND gainful employment. Just saying, he's going to urgent care once I'm done with him
You had me at "let me see your balls"
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
Randomize
