BEES IN MY FUCKING PANTS. HELP.
ttyl tear gas
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
What's the most polite way to say "Congrats on losing weight, but no one is happy your boobs got smaller."
So I found the perfect "Yeah I gained weight since high school but it went to all the right places" outfit for the reunion this weekend.
Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
True strength comes from lack of pants
Currently googling hangover cures, which looks a lot like working from the perspective of my boss.
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
Randomize
