ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
my goal in life is to wake up with my underwear on
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
i just added a shot of fireball to my iced coffee. goodbye sobriety.
I still don’t believe you, the dog DID NOT tear down the shower curtain and shit on the floor.. we found you in the fetal position in the bathroom holding your tequila gun. It was you!
I was giving this fat lawyer a table dance and he asked me if I would be willing to play with his long, hard stick of the law. And you want me to stop drinking at work?
Umm I might be late. Also I am may or may not have mayonnaise on my ass
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