she looked like the before picture.
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
Stole every fake plant from the lobby and placed it in front of you're apartment door, Enjoy!
Have bite marks on my arm where my temporary tat was Saturday night. Did someone try to bite Captain America or something?
One of the many mysteries surrounding the weekend...
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
I got stoned and explored ice caves with a guy who photographs dildos for a living. I win.
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
Randomize
