Police were just in my backyard to recover a loaded .38. What the fuck?????
Did you know Kal Penn works at the white house? That's almost white castle.
My mom just drunkenly told me i was conceived in the back of a car, at a Bon Jovi concert.
I called him Han Solo during sex, he looked at me like he was mortified then I realized he came.
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
I booty called her while she was in labor.
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
hey if you're going to the hospital do you wanna pick me up a taco on your way back
There arew tilmes ina man's life when christmaas. THerew are times in a man's lfie when drunk texts from a bathrom hyufgirto. So, you know, merry chriastmans.
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
Randomize
