We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
Did I get blown in the bathroom? Yes. Did she throw up cranberry juice on my shorts? Yes. Did she finish the job? Yes.
im sitting in the back of my pickup eating an artichoke. please come find me, im scared.
that was a mass text, wasnt it?
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
Only time i ever look at my online banking statement is to see when i left the bar.
everyone thought he was too sick to make it, but he showed up. Ten minutes in and he's doing vodka shots with nyquil chasers
trading diseases for a hangover? that's either a really good decision or a really, really bad one. we'll find out if he wakes up tomorrow
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
Randomize
