dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
Moral of the story: If you're gonna throw a glass of wine in a guy's face, don't do it in your own kitchen.
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
Ya know, one would think a restraining order would keep me from fucking my ex.
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
Last night was a bad idea. I'm hungover and the contents of my purse smell like Korean BBQ.
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