I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
I think my goal in life now is to be a Trending topic on Twitter after I die.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
To drunk to make oatmeal. I'm pouring it into my mouth and gargling it with beer. Ive made maple brown sugar bud light
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
Woke up to a note written on my hand that read "just because he kisses you, doesn't mean you have to sleep with him"
next time, write it on your vagina so its more effective.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Some old chick is rubbing my thigh and saying she needs some Memorial Day dick. Her teeth are kind of gross but I'm going for it.
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
So I'm at early voting and the group of ladies behind me is talking about voting no on 2 and my gummy is kicking in, thank lawd
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
Randomize