I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
Apple trackpads and semen don't mix. On the way to the Apple Store.
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises.
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
You attract beautiful men with jobs. I attract ONE WITH A SOUL PATCH.
it was a sexy soul patch.
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
But did u die
I found an onion in my purse
Remember when I convinced you to watch me eat my sandwich just so you could reuse my plate and save us money on our water bill? I'm so ecofriendly when I'm high
He makes furniture for a living and is basically a hot, younger Ron Swanson
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
Randomize
