i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
is this the sara with the beer cane?
It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
Bad news. I baked you a cake and one of my fingernails is missing.
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
how does that bad decision feel?
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
If I told the doordash driver it's national nudity day, think he'd still report me for being topless at the door?
Randomize
