Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
We're about to have a bottle rocket fight on jetskis. You have 5 minutes to get on our level.
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
We have such limited time together he literally sends me text messages that are like "I sent my roommates on an impossible quest, we have 15 minutes." it's that bad.
Tabs I had open this morning: "15 hedgehogs with things that look like hedgehogs" and an unexplored google search for "how do I express my love of tacos"
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
Someone has big plans this weekend. Just went to throw away the trash and saw packaging for 3 different vibrators on the top of the stack
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
I just matched with a taco on tinder. Dreams come true.
What's the world record for number of orgasms reached on ones birthday? Asking for a friend.
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
Randomize
