Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
My 10 year old son gave me a bottle of jameson for fathers day. Did you have something to do with this?
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
Hey, I didn't ask that stripper to put her unds in my mouth, it was just covered by the plus package fee I ordered.
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
Apparently coming home smelling like I took a bath in beer is frowned upon in this household. I'm so glad I don't actually live here.
Sometimes you have a life bucket list item checked off like 4 tits in your face simultaneously and getting to bang them both. I'm sorry I bailed on skiing but not really. Coming over with a boombox playing 'heat of the moment' as soon as I can hail a cab cause I'm too drunk to drive still...
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
my liver is dry heaving
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
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