There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
Why can't we have signs that automatically flash on our foreheads that say not interested when gross ugly guys come around, like those glasses that get dark when the sun comes out?
DAMN! I hate it when i drunkenly erase all my "sent message" and wake up in the morning and my inbox is full of "WTF?" and "Huh?" messages.
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
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and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
we broke up because he couldn't handle the fact that i've slept with more girls than he has. also, i've slept with the girl he's seeing now.
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
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Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
Is there a classy way to tell him that to thank him for his service I would like to put his dick in my mouth?
"Happy Veterans Day! Now pull down your pants."
Come home, I'm drunk on the porch and pretending to smoke breadsticks like cigarettes. Enticing, right?
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
Bro, I live in a constant state of existential dread and moderate ennui. The prospect of cosmic horror doesn’t faze me that much.
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