its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
I told him we can only be friends from now on & he said he knows but that I'm the 'best he ever had'.
you slept with him again didn't you
you can't just quote Drake AND compliment me at the same time & receive nothin. he knows me too well
I think I may have appendicitis, but the house is like two blocks from the hospital so I'm just gonna go and drink anyway.
#1 lesson to be learned from mardi gras this year: lock your car doors or some grimy dude like me might just bang in it and use your backseat as a kleenex
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
You left your underwear in a sandwich bag on my kitchen counter.
SO DRUNK
PUKED IN DRIVEWAY
TELL PARENTS SORRY
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
I just ordered a onesie on amazon in the back of the ambulance while my patient was sleeping. I'm an adult
I’m doing tequila shots with lesbians. This isn’t how I planned my night but I’m not complaining
People probably think I’m a fangirl bc I go to so many shows but it’s really bc I like fucking the tour manager
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
Randomize
