ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone.
Thought I woke up to a girl giving me a handy. It was a male nurse inserting a catheter.
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
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A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
I got a Luke Skywalker costume so I can go do battle with the homeless guy who plays the fiddle dressed as Darth Vader downtown.
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
Why is the clock ticking so loud? Now I know how Captain Hook feels.
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
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