Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
Surefire way to sober up: discover that your car is being towed at 2 am.
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
Okay so I'm high eating chili cheese fries bra-less watching Mulan, could I be doing any better at life right now?
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
Yeah, sorry about that. Dropped the phone on my face while I was watching porn.
I knew I was in for a long night after I filled the empty pinata carcass with beer, bit off the top of one of it's legs and used it as a beer bong.
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
He stopped in the middle of us fucking so he could turn on lithuanian techno music. And the sad thing is that it was the best sex of my life.
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
Randomize
