Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
I'm so hungover And my mouth is so dry it feels like my tongue is wearing a sweater
went to the bathroom to piss, saw puke in the toilet thought wtf i dont remember puking, then turned around to find a chick i've never seen before passed out in my shower.
I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A burger king employee called me from your phone while you were on their bathroom floorl. Hope ur not in jail....4 realz
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
Well I found out I was essentially dumped and replaced by a hipster and apparently offered a girl $95 to go out with me. In the spirit of the Olympics I will not be spending any time on the medal stand.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
Just got blown whilst wearing a glow in the dark superman t shirt. Your night will never be as good as mine.
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
The only thing I want for my birthday is a divorce from you.
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