Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
i just discovered how you can fold down the cardboard sleeve on a hot pocket. Life just got a whole lot easier.
you left him a drunk voicemail of you singing speechless by lady gaga balling your eyes out
so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
Dude I'm riding a fucking tortoise this is awesome you should come with me more often
I was just tryna bring you beer girl. I should've known you'd be shirtless though
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
When I went to pick up Adam from the train station, I found him passed out, covered in gold paint and wrapped in a red blanket. someone had glued a gaudy green rhinestone to his forehead. He looked homeless.
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
Randomize
