i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
I had to talk to the cops at my front door in a bathrobe, with the buttplug still in.
Would it be appropriate to cancel a hookup to watch the golden globes?
absolutely. tina fey and amy poehler trump everything.
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
Sorry you ended up in detox. It's not my fault you decided to walk downtown in only your underwater at 3am. I think the tequila took over.
There was already gay porn open on my laptop with a tiny carrot cake, a bottle of water, and a note saying "I love you, Sober Me."
Drunk me just hits it and quits it.
Randomize
