Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
I'm going to keep a tally of how many lives I ruin this summer. Starting today.
Already at 3 and it's not even noon.
I sat on my couch last night watching What Women Want, eating ice cream, and sobbing "why doesn't she like me?" Why was I born a man?
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
Bourbon is too strong for my cat, he does not want to drink it
SMOKEY THE BEAR CAME AT US WITH FUCKING AXES IN MY DREAM I THINK IT IS A SIGN TO STOP BLAZING IT IN THE WOODS
He described his sex dream about me using only emojis
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
Randomize
