who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
Umm went to talk to a client ended up seeing his semi erect penis. This is my life.
the lady at Walgreens winked at me when i asked where the cherry chapstick was... damn u katy perry!
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
You got a blow job by a girl whose nickname is "the terrible tooth"?! You are a brave man.
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
We have angered the beer gods. It feels like I'm shitting angry cats.
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
He was semi blacked out in the hallway with a bucket, calling for me while I had sex with his best friend in the very next room. Why do you let me do these things?
Sorry, my phone died and I decide to charge my vibrator instead. #priorities
Randomize
