Michael Bay diarrhea
i think i recognize dicks better than faces
At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
She crossed her eyes and threw up into a glass while sitting at the bar. It was fifty shades of sketchy dude.
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
I was running because his wife invited me to join them on their kinky Vegas weekend. Crossing state lines is too much commitment for me.
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
Randomize
