And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
She got all mad because she said it was "unprofessional" to tell my manager to go fist herself.
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
Just told some little girl not to judge me as I brushed my teeth in the target bathroom
You said you brought chipotle into a movie and I asked you to marry me and you said yes
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
I was in the bathroom and I heard a phone ding inside one of the stalls. I really wanted to say, nature is calling, but I was still in my work uniform
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
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