fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
I just had to pull over at a starbucks to throw up in the bathroom. They really should not have let me be a lawyer.
I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
i spent an hour trying to convince my psychiatrist that the fact that i showed up for my appointment drunk was progress, and she does not agree
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
No one's ever called me intergalactic cocksucker, before.
What does it say about me that I feel completely charmed right now?
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
I accidentally sent my dad a very explicit Star Wars fanfiction and he replied with "That was great!"
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
Randomize
