i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
I called him Han Solo during sex, he looked at me like he was mortified then I realized he came.
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
There's a baby duck in my toilet. Fuck you.
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
I found my wallet. Still have no idea when I put mad dog in my steel water bottle, though...
Randomize