life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
My sole motivation for showering this morning was to masturbate. Something is wrong here...
Just got an Edible Arrangement my parents sent me for my birthday. Time to marinate some fruit in vodka.
The National Anthem was on so I had to have a beer
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
Your cousin just asked the bartender to start a round of vagina shots. Not body shots. Vagina shots. We're taking her out more often.
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
Not this time. I'm drinking in my sweatpants which means I've given up for the day and shouldn't be in public.
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
Randomize
