well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
I woke up with my bra stapled to the ceiling, her dad was in the hallway winking at me. I was the less drunk of the bunch.
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
He drunk dialed me at 2am asking if he could put a baby in me.
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
I wore a bathing suit downtown so I didn't have to put on underwear, I obviously don't have my shit together
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
no i'm going to the dr today, he fucking banshee-shrieked in my ear as he was coming and now i can't hear out of it
Randomize
