Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
I know. I know. The man who pulled me from my mother's womb was the same man who had his fingers in my vagina today. My life is a joke. I don't know how to feel about this.
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
After my shift today I'm going on a bender. Not saying this so you'll stop me, just a heads up to invest in Tylenol, Gatorade, and Jack
Randomize
