wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
I should never bitch about not getting laid. He's begging me to come over and I'm saying no because I'm watching a Golden Girls marathon.
i think i left my bra at your place
It's still hanging from my ceiling fan. Please let me keep it there.
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
When we started taking double shots of vodka and chasing it with a lick of fruit roll-ups, I knew there'd be hell to pay in the morning.
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
I ended up driving home on my birthday, he opened the door to puke on the highway, and animal balloons were flying out of the car the entire time. The people behind us got a show.
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
Randomize
