What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
Whiskey shot with bacon bits, our version of Goldschlager WE ARE TRYIN IT.
This shit I'm taking feels like I've eaten every burrito in the world and chased that with an aquarium of hot sauce.
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
I'm covered in jizz and the toll booth lady knew it
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
Randomize
