This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
I thought you were single?
I am. But thats cuz no one wants to marry shame and regret doused in tequila. But thanks for reminding me ya dick.
We kept trying to bring you to the hospital but you had a tantrum and kept saying you would never be Miss America
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
Fuck these runners passing me on campus as I'm waking to dinner. With my huggie. With flavored vodka and rum. Aka yum
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
I need like a billion tiny bottles of alcohol to put in the patron pinatas
Randomize
