Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
I found a knife in my bed when I got back this morning. I think one of my roommates has it in for me
just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
I'm still not completely convinced I'm not pregnant. I just dipped beef jerky in cream cheese frosting.
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
Randomize
