So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
insurance, jail, and birth control were made for people like us.
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
My bosses just told me they met their wives on one night stands. I'm stoked.
My bullwhip has saved my life tonight and gotten me laid. I'm gonna be Indiana Jones every Halloween!
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
Sunday mornings are confusing. Like. I can't decide if I want to go for a run or start drinking
Adding to the list of things I have said out loud at the bar that I shouldn't have: "I am the yoda of sucking dick"
In two separate occurrences, I could have avoided getting my heart broken, and chlamydia, all with a left swipe.
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
Randomize
