Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
I think the duck is in my room. You have no idea how much worse a duck makes a hangover
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
Drunk him got in a fight with his wife he literally bought a plane ticket and flew to Hawaii. He just called me and asked why I let it happen. From Hawaii hahaha.
im so drunk that this cat is mothering me. aggressively
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