Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
this beer tastes like vomit already
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
I brought him flowers on my way home from cheating on him. Boyfriend of the year award right here.
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
The amount of effort it's taking me to not shit my pants this morning is probably a sign to slow down the drinking
Jesus fuck that was emotional whiplash
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize
