my mom walked in on my vaccuming.......i wasnt vaccumming
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
just fought my dog for the chicken pie I dropped on the floor.
He used his one phone call to tell me not to let anyone drink all his vodka until he could bail himself out.
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
I'm not sure whom I'm texting but I put you in my phone as last nights fuck budy, and I'm just curious if I left my clutch with you?
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
Oh, now I remember why I deleted your number. You're kind of a dick. Please delete mine.
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
Randomize
