Just had to reach into my sister's bag and shut off her vibrator so my parents wouldn't hear it. I am the world's greatest brother.
I just heard a mom tell her toddler son "shut the fuck up. Don't ask me to buy you shit when i'm taking u to go see some fucking animals" welcome to the bronx.
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
She left me naked in my bed and without my phone I had her give me her phone number on the calculator on my laptop. It might be fake.
I fucked her wearing an American flag. Now here I am, awake, naked, and flag less. How do I report this to the police?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
The awkward moment your booty call shows up to the Mexican restaurant and realizes you just picked burritos over pussy
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
Randomize