Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
I woke up this morning and the search history on my phone says: "What is this castle in front of my house?"
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
Went up to some dude that hit on Laura and told him he has a voice like a grandma. Apparently didnt have muscles or kindness like grandma so can you pick me up at the ER please?
I legit measured his penis against my chapstick and it was too close to call. So that was my night.
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
I am real keen for none of this to be taken out of context so let’s just shut it down right now
My boss walked into my office and gave me a toothbrush and tips for dealing with sex hair. She knows what’s up
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