Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
What did we do last night that was yellow?
How was I supposed to know she would get offended when I asked her how long it took to draw on her eyebrows.
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
$100 bras are my way of telling my boobs that I love and appreciate them, and all the metaphorical doors they have opened for me.
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
Apparently karate chopping the fronts off all the paper towel and soap dispensers in the bathrooms isn't even frowned upon. Like even at the third bar when I fell flat on my back trying to jump kick the last one some guy just helped me up and high fived me. America.
Randomize
