in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
Promise me that if I become one of those sad people that facebook pesters you to 'reconnect with' you'll tell me so I can delete mine and save myself the humiliation?
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
Pictures of drunk me in a bike helmet are like McDonald's collectible toys. There's sooo many, but NO ONE has seen all of them.
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
He also ordered me a vibrator last week, so the flowers kind of balance it out
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
I woke up this morning fully clothed with a dart in my pocket
I don't know why, but whenever I shave my balls I feel more aerodynamic.
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
Let’s be real here. NOTHING says Real Adulting like rolling a J on your line of credit paperwork.
Randomize
