I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
there's a wings menu taped to my wall. don't tell me i don't have my priorities straight.
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
I mean, I gave him a hand job on the Pearl Harbor tour bus; I don't know what the fuck else he wants out of this "relationship"
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
Why does my therapist keep calling when I jerk off?
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
Woke up to I'm AWESOME written in purple crayon all over my walls. I love drunk me
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
Randomize
