I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
Just promise me we won't die tonight. I can't have an autopsy report that reads "stomach contents: Tequila and semen."
But you have work tomorrow. And a whore to pick up. And a dinner to eat. And a vagina to slaughter. Your day is full!
I appreciate the concept of vaginal slaughtering.
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
I went to the obgyn with chipped nail polish.. Somewhere Beyonce was looking down, shaking her head, whispering "Not fierce."
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
Randomize
