There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
Hey guys. This is Daniel texting on mayas phone. if she called you and told you that i made her have sex with me in my doghouse with my dog present that wasn't true.... so dont spread that.
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
We've only been driving for two hours and I'm already down 3 vicodin...I'm not going to survive this family vacation.
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
Last time I checked he was house sitting for his ex while she was out of town with some new dude. He was crying about how the guy told him to stay out of his whiskey while he was gone. That's whipped
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
Learning to live poor pretty well. Cashed in all the coins in my car for nearly 60 bucks and yelled at a Pizza Hut manager, insisting I have a free pizza credit, until he just gave me a pizza.
Randomize
