Being alone has allowed me to flourish into a complete weirdo
I was in the bathroom throwing up...when I walked out he was sitting there watching porn and jacking off. He said, "Sounded like you were gonna be in there for a while."
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
we flagged you as soon as you tried to put the lime in the microwave to prove it was really a kiwi. again.
Also, at 1:30 I emailed myself saying, "are you there Margaret? It's me, god"
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
You kept running up to married couples, taking their pictures and begging for them not to get divorced
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
Randomize
