In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
Vodka + horseback riding = vomit in the saddle bags
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
I can't find the remote or the Doritos. Someone call 911. S.O.S. I sent this in Braille.
I maxed out my credit card last night on powdered donuts and beef jerky
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
Apparent my drunk ass was so dedicated to taking a piss, when I walked across the dance floor to get to the bathroom a 9/10 broad tried to dance with me and I just pushed her aside, like hard enough to send her a few feet from where she was standing, pointed at her and said "Not now chief, gotta rock a mean one."
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