Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
Just threw up in the waiting room. I can't believe I have to switch dermatologists again.
Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?
I decided to mark my territory.
I swear to God if you start calling your dick “my pegasus” we’re not friends anymore
I think we have some hyper-understanding of each other when drunk, because looking back at our text convo from last night, they were literally just jumbled letters.
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
Randomize
