My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
Mowing drunk should be an olympic sport...
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
Who wrote Most Moistest Dad on my chest and what the fuck does it mean?!?
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
Today is all about not throwing up, where the fuck are my keys and does anyone know what happened to that guy in the panda suit my roommate had sex with last night.
My 7 yo sister is trying to talk my mom into buying her a strawberry margarita. Happy Cinco de Mayo.
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
Those nachos came to me in a dream
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
Drug test isn't today. Now I'm just sitting in this orientation with a bag of your piss in my pants
I've finally done it. I finally achieved my lifelong goal of becoming that awkward lesbian in high school who went on to have sex with more women than any of her male classmates.
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