You were wearing a sombrero. And a crown. And told me to use the nerf gun to protect your room from the cat. You don't have a cat.
roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
i just made my gag reflex go away.
Fist pumping is hard when country music is playing FYI but I am committed
My mom just said we needed to put weed into our earthquake kit.
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
Perhaps if I didn't mortify my parents last night with my drunken obnoxious behavior which resulted in the casualty of an entire decorative bathroom shelf which I completely ripped off the wall and left for dead, I would be more than willing to go day drinking.
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
Note to self, the correct response when a guy tells you he likes you as a person is not "ew"
Randomize
