No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
I literally made his dick bleed. How the fuck do you think it went?
i wanna have a kid now so by the time he's 20 ill only be 42 and assuming im already divorced we can pick up girls together
I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
I told him he was a man of science and that he should conduct experiments on my tits to see how they stay up. I need you to hold onto my larynx when I'm drunk.
Maybe before the beach I should get a tracking chip in my arm.
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
I just told the bartender to “give me something that will murder me”
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
Randomize
