i can't believe i had my finger in that
Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
why is my clorox wipe dispenser full of tortillas?
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
Dude. I kneed him in the face and gave him a black eye. It's like a constant reminder of our hookup. I feel like herpes. I never go away...
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
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