I just set a weed brownie on fire in the microwave.
Successful day.
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's not a good night until someone eats a bagel covered in face mask thinking it's cream cheese
Today's work quote "if I looked like you, I'd be sitting on everyones face"
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
Good afternoon everyone! Just texting to inform you that Andrew, your emotionally detached man-whore, will be back starting this weekend. Please RSVP.
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
I told my fuck buddy that I wanted one of his arms to take home with me to hold onto in bed and he was hurt that I didn't want to bring him, like as a person, home to my family. I feel like you and only you could appreciate this.
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
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