Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
It's like leaving me for his wife wasn't enough. He had to give me an STD too.
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
On the way out the door to work grabbed the wine glass on the floor left for the ghost of Elijah and chugged it. PASSOVER.
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
Randomize
