in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
I woke up at 2 in my clothes with a defrosted steak in my pocket, no drinky this week at all.
I asked him how he was going to celebrate tomorrow and he said "tits, clits, and bong hits"
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
Boobs are also good for catching the vodka gummy bears that miss my mouth
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
Heard you had a bad day. I have vodka, chocolate and my dick here ready to put a smile back on your face.
STONER SAFETY TIP: don't use the driver's side vanity mirror to check how red your eyes are while you're driving. it won't work. trust me.
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
Really dude? drunk texts at 9 in the morning? its wednesday
Randomize
