i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
I have a bottle of vodka wrapped in a leg warmer in my purse. This is what it takes to get through Christmas with my family.
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
Over Bumbled last night. I think I set my dog up on a date Sunday afternoon. I have to drive him, meet the other dog’s dad and secretly drink a bottle of champagne from a “water bottle”. This is not what I expected 30 to be like.
You kept licking me last night.... and said I tasted like jello. Next time, lay off the jello shots, okay?
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
Randomize
